April 20th - J-Pop is Insane

Once again, I found myself watching the International Channel. This time it was Pop Japan TV, which is a Japanese music video countdown hosted by two retarded Japanese girls. For those of you who hate MTV, you'd absolutely dispise Pop Japan TV. See, kids in Japan don't really care about the music, all they care about are the good looking people who sing the music, and they are obsessed with knowing every stupid fact about them. The same could be said for a lot of MTV culture, but Japan takes it to the extreme by having interviews with artists, where instead of asking them about their work or upcoming tour, they ask them what their favorite foods and colors are. Seriously, they ask them the most asininely random shit.

Pop Japan TV - What kinds of foods do you dislike?
Japanese Music Artist - Um... *5 minutes of deliberation later* I don't like green peppers or onions.

This is the hardhitting journalism changing the shape of J-Pop ladies and gentlemen. The only question this guy didn't take 2 years to answer were his favorite types of alcohol. I have to show respect for a Japanese guy who drinks "Yagermeister" and "Southern Comfort." That's a tough guy right there.

Oh and I finally got "Steel Battalion." Sure, $100 for a game might seem a bit much, but I can still look at that huge ass joystick and smile all I want.

I don't know if anyone likes the new title image. I think it looks kind of cool. Let me know if you miss the old one though.

God I'm boring lately...

April 17th - Vacation

Sorry I've been busy, but if anyone noticed, the sidebar has stuff in it now. You can actually click around and read articles and shit. Plus you can scroll to the bottom of the page and finally traverse the archives in a reasonable manner. I'm excited
It's a vacation week. Something interesting might finally happen that I can write about. I doubt it though.
April 11th - Letters

My first week as a letters columnist has been interesting if anything. I made the mistake of insulting Final Fantasy X in my introduction which has caused some people to not like me. Then again, I'm not sure I want the support of rabid Final Fantasy fanboys. Some dude named "Spike Spiegal" has angrily e-mailed me twice. Any dude who uses the name of an anime character as his persona is not someone who's opinion I care for. Anyways, all the people on the staff of the site seem really cool, and I get to make sex jokes in a public forum. Plus I can read my own columns and laugh, so I must be doing something right. If anyone out there is remotely important, please link my column. It'll only help me take over the internet that much more quickly.

In other news, Home Movies has been canceled, which is some of the worst news I've ever recieved. Sigh... Home Movies was the best cartoon on Adult Swim, and they're fucking replacing it with Futurama reruns. Futurama is not funny. Futurama is retarded. There's a petition you should sign if you support humor in any way, shape or form. I know I do.

Driving School still sucks a nut, though I've been going to the 6-8 class with David "The Wall" La'wall so it's not that bad. We go to the new Captain Video during break with this kid Jeremy who likes to follow us for some reason, and steal the free bags of popcorn they have near the door. David turns 18 in like, 7 days, so he's my new porn liason. It should be fun.

Yesterday while working the phones at Domino's I got a soundboard prank call. Whoever was behind it did a pretty good job. Me and Judge Judy discussed dildos for a while. I gave em' my website address so maybe I can find out who it was.

Just when I swore off buying any new games for a while, Gamestop brings back their "Buy 2 get 1 free" sale on used games. This weekend alone I purchased "Breath of Fire III", "Breath of Fire IV", "Gundam Battle Assault", "G-Darius", "Chocobo Racing" for PS1, "Klonoa: Empire of Dreams" for GBA, "Mystic Heroes" for Gamecube, and "Prisoner of War" for NES. I also got "Gundam Battle Assault 2" but the disc was scratched to hell so I'm going to have to bring it back. 9 games, and a Zelda collectors disc strategy guide for under $100? w00t. Plus the guys at Gamestop gave me a free "True Crime" hat because I'm cool.

FREE HAT! FREE HAT! FREE HAT!

Oh, and Squaresoft announced another fucking port of Final Fantasy I and II. I should kill someone. Honestly, Square-Enix has done absolutely fucking nothing important in the last 2 years and everyone still praises them like they are the pillar around which all video games circle. Fuck them. Stop making shitty Final Fantasy games and admit you suck.

God I'm angry sometimes. Site will be upgraded soon.

April 4th - It's So Fun To Pretend You Have a Wooden Leg

You should be watching this. That is all

Posted at 8:11
I've been watching/reading this Japanese series called "Azumanga Daioh." I've pretty much given up on Anime and Manga as of late but Azumanga is one of the few exceptions. It's really hilarious but impossible to describe since it doesn't really use a lot of snappy one-liners you can just repeat. It revolves around a group of High School girls and their random school adventures. I found a site that has a couple of them scanned/translated and I picked two ones I think help explain the wackiness of the series. Read down, not across.

Heh. In case anyone out there likes me enough to buy me a present I think the first volume of strips would do nicely. It's only $9.99 *whine* It'll be better than having to go to Barnes & Noble everytime I feel like reading. That's where I was today. I noticed the second volume of Megatokyo was out. Megatokyo became really unfunny once Largo left the site and Piro took over, although I will have to give Megatokyo credit in a moment. See, since Manga is read right to left the companies publishing it usually put a warning in what would normally be the front of a book, saying "Stop!" and explains how you're reading the book backwards if you're starting on that page. The Megatokyo book has that warning in the back, saying "Stop!" and explains how Megatokyo was created by Americans so of course it reads left to right. Then it calls you an idiot for expecting otherwise. That made me laugh.

Ezra told me Jonny Wow is playing a show at Mount Holyoke College on the 23rd. Aparently they're playing with this band Holiday, who has this really great video you should watch. I wish more bands had more sentimental, real footage of themselves in their videos. They're also playing with this shitty punk band called Scattered Rock. I wish Jared were here to make fun of them. Jared loves making fun of teen punk bands, and him doing a hilarious rendition of that shitty Simple Plan song "Addicted" while jumping up and down strumming an air guitar is the funniest goddamn thing I've ever seen. Right behind Azumanga Daioh anyway.

I'm working on a big update for all the empty areas of the site so stay tuned. And my first letters column is tomorrow! GET EXCITED!

April 3rd - I liked the board game better

It's 11:35 PM and I have to go to work in like 25 minutes so I'll try to make this quick.

Yesterday the entire Sophmore class went to the Fine Arts Center at Umass to see a three hour production of Shakespeare's Othello. It felt like the longest-ass thing I've ever had to sit through, and I didn't even watch the second half. There were mainly two groups. Kids honestly interested in Shakespeare and Kids who didn't really want to be there. I was a part of the latter half. Me and Kyle got seats with Kenny, this crazy fucking kid always causing trouble who we love. For the first half of the show, Kenny managed to rally our section of the audience into performing various juvinile antics, like doing the wave, or getting up and dancing during the scene changes. I honestly thought it was brilliant. Mass disobediance always is. During intermission I went to the lobby, bought a fucking $1.50 cookie which was too salty, and then went to the bathroom and played "Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga" for the next hour and a half. After the show I learned that most of the kids I had been sitting with got detentions, and that the entire school was outraged at being publicly humiliated by us. It's hard to nod your head and pretend to be outraged when you were right there, enjoying every minute of it. Aparently we weren't the only ones as some other kids were playing hot potato with a ringing cell phone, and Luis and his crew ordered Domino's Pizza from my dad's store and gave the service and excellent review which makes me smile. Some teacher's and students are planning on writing a letter of apology to the troupe, becuase that's what our school does. If they pass that letter around for kids to sign I'm going to write "I fucking hated your play" just because I can. I'd comment on Shakespeare's cultural revelvance but I really don't care. I'm actually kind of proud that we managed to make our entire school look bad with our shenanigans. Fuck those South Amherst kids, we're tougher than they are. The fact that sitting in a bathroom and playing Mario was more entertaining than sitting through a brilliant play that has withstood the test of time speaks to something. Be it my general lack of respect or the fact that maybe the play isn't really relevent in this day and age. I heard I missed a hilarious strangling in Act II. I almost wish I cared.

People seem to like my acting in the various episodes of the Andy & Eddy show well enough. Two kids have told me I was funny recently. Ryan Hummel, who is a fucking guitar god, told me he loved the skit with me and Eddy talking in the car, and some girl was babbling incomprehensibly but I think she liked Fat & Fat, this cop drama we did about two fat cops that I came up with and Eddy took credit for. Acting class is still confusing and I'm not really sure if I've learned anything yet but at least the class isn't a chore like fucking Computer Science was.

Eddy thinks Ryan Hummel wants to bang his sister Rosie. I don't disagree with him.

We got report cards today, and I'd scan mine if my scanner wasn't broken. I made honor roll and barely squeezed out a B- in Computer Science, just like I did with Basic Programming the year before. I suck at programming, but yet I keep signing up for the classes I keep thinking maybe someday it won't suck so much. I wish I had a clever saying for this situation, like "A fool and his classes are often something something." Unfortunately I don't. Seems these days, I never do.

Oh, and I'm getting fucking Steel Battalion used but mint for $100. w00t.

April 2nd - Livin' on the rim

You know, sometimes I don't know what to think about McDonalds. I see them phasing out the super-size meal and making healthier menu items available and I think "Maybe they care about more than making a cheap buck after all." Then I see the "I'm Lovin' It" campaign and hideous vibrant images of terrible shitty "urban" culture come flooding to mind. I really don't think McDonalds has any idea how absolutely ridiculous their ad campaign really is. Case in point. A recent "I'm lovin' it" ad features an independent film maker, who "needs motivation" while making a terrible video of his friends so he eats some McNuggets and a good time is had by all.

Ok, now here's what's wrong with this commercial. It's directed towards fucking independent film makers. How many independent film makers do you know who eat McDonalds? I know independent film makers, and I know that they enjoy eating things like tofu or bean sprouts, or whatever else will make them seem hyper emo-cultural while they hide behind their lenses. They don't eat at fucking Mcdonalds. These are the people who sit in Starbucks and complain about the imperialistic policies of corporate America. These are not consumers you should be directing your ads towards.

I'm writing this because I discovered this new McDonalds ad campaign that seems to be directed towards Asian-Americans, namely in Hawaii. It's called I Am Asian and I guess it's a sub-group of the "I'm Lovin' It" ads. Here's the flavor text.

"We're Asian and Pacific Islander Americans "living on the rim," where our diverse cultures and the everyday American lifestyle become one. We're hanging on to our great traditions while we move to the beat of the times. We honor our heritage - but we love being Americans. From high fashion to high tech, from Asian Pacific American hip hop to haute cuisine, we're weaving the threads of our culture into the fabric of everyday American life. Whether we're sipping green tea or enjoying a Big Mac® sandwich, we're helping make the magic mix called America become even richer. And McDonald's is right there with us, everyday!"

This honestly borders on racist, using people's race in other to pitch a product to them. It also doesn't make any sense. Are Asian-American people supposed to associate McDonalds, an American conglomerate, with AZN pride? McDonalds doesn't just use these "We support cultural diversity, we swear it" type of things in other countries. Next time you get some McDonalds food look at the bag. There's like 50 different ways to say "I'm Lovin' It" printed on the bag, as well as a picture of a rediculous looking asian man with a helmet on racing a go-kart. It's terrible. I hate the world sometimes.

I discovered this ad while searching for a music video called "Robot" by a Korean band called Seo Tai-Ji. I did the mistake of watching the Korean Music Channel knowing full well that everything I hear I will never hear again for as long as I live. It's kind of poetic actually. Anyways, it had some brilliant cinematography. All this symbolism and some metaphors and other literary devices I can't spell. It was awesome to the max.

Oh and yesterday wasn't an April Fools joke, I actually got the job, and I'm actually cool.

I told John I got the job and he instantly called me a fag. It's good to have friends like John who always manage to ridicule you no matter what you do. I love you John.

April 1st - I'm Cool

I've been busy lately. I have an abnormally large amount of homework this trimester, driving school Monday through Friday, Japanese class on Thursdays and work on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday night. As you can see, my schedual is very full. Today I get to add another "to do" to the list...

I'm the facking letters columnist for Gameforms baby.

YEEHAW!

I got both an e-mail and an IM from one Ed McGlothlin of Gameforms today. Aparently I rule as I beat out 18 other applicants for the job. I like to think this officially makes me a much more awesome person than 18 other people. I'm excited for the job. I mean, it's not like I'm lead porn tester at Hustler International but I think this ranks up there. At 16 I'm probably the youngest staff member on the site but I think I'll do a respectable job. If anyone can handle fanboyish ranting on a variety of video game related subjects it's me. Gameforms is a fairly respectable site so this should be fun, despite what previous letter columnist/psycho John Hummel has to say. Just kidding about that psycho part but I'd be lying if I said he didn't seem bitter. I hope that everything works out and the job isn't too demanding. Wow, I finally have a respectable job in the video game media. A respectable job that pays no money. Awesome.

In other news, I'm taking Drivers Ed. Drivers Education is taught by this crazy lady who I believe hates children, and from what I've learned this seems to be the only qualification most teachers need. There's two classes available, one from 3 to 5 and one from 6 to 8. The kids in the 3 to 5 class all seem to be pretty mild mannered respectable people, mostly nice girls who smile at my comments and say things like "Chris, you're so funny!" Gabe Rosenthal is also in there. Gabe has some condition which makes him a complete nerdo who likes to engage people in conversations on topics they have no interest in. Oh and cutting you off whenever you try to change the subject. Trying to talk to this kid about selling him my Evangelion DVDs was a bad idea since it only resulted in a breakdown of his favorite anime series' and how he gets bootleg manga I've never heard of over the internet. Anyway, 3 to 5 sucks compared to the 6 to 8 class. This kid Corey I knew from Middle School is there, along with some other great kids including good friend David Lawall (Who we call David "The Wall" after the Pink Floyd album/movie thing). These kids seem to love me and the class is overall a hilarious experience, especially when we start discussing such important driving topics as "How to outrun the cops." We had to watch this driving video from the 80s in class. I swear if I had to live through the 80s I probably would've killed myself. Anyways, it had this ass-terrible 80s soundtrack and everytime it came on I started raving in my seat. Then, commenting on anti-lock breaks, some girl in the video said "You have to pump it!" and squeezed her hand in a suggested manner. I love educational films. We had to watch another one where some black guy randomly popped out of fucking nowhere to educate some kid about driving safely. I mean out of nowhere. Like, the kid will be driving and the dude pops onto the hood and starts talking about airbags or some shit like that. Reminded me a lot of "Don't Copy That Floppy." Jive black guys always seem the right choice for educational programs, like Levar from reading rainbow. What's up with Levar?

Some girl in the back of the classroom hates me for some unknown reason. Apparently she thinks she's more of a nerd than I am or something. It's asinine. I hate when people try to make their hatred for my personality public fact whether than just keeping it to themselves. My view on it is this. I could be a respectable young student and everyone could not be too concerned with me, maybe I'd have a few friends and everyone would be pretty normal. Or I can be my own outragous self and have nearly everyone love me and a few stragglers bitterly despise my guts. I choose option B, because every genius has his critics. I just wish they'd get over themselves.

Also, Home Alone by Special D is my new theme music. That is all. We return you to your reguarly schedualed internet.