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February 25th - Nader Sucks Too Ivars also came over...again. I know this is like the 3rd time but I swear we're not gay. We watched some Clone High. God was that show great. If you've watched the ending it's actually kind of sad since you realize that there are no more episodes to try and make you feel better about all the characters being frozen forever in a freezer. We also rented some Japanese films again. Because subtitles are just funny. First we watched "Hard Boiled," this John Woo action film from like the 80s. If I learned anything, it's that Japanese cops are fucking invincible. Like, this dude swings into a warehouse filled with literally a hundred guys, and proceeds to kill all of them with an amazing ensemble of rolling, ducking, cavorting and other related shenanigans. Oh, I shouldn't say he killed everyone, because he managed to avoid killing the only two main antagonists in the warehouse. God job numbnuts. After "Hard Boiled," we popped in "If You Were Young: Rage," a 70s film directed by Kinji Fukasaku, the same man responsible for both "Battle Royale" and "Clock Tower 3." I love the title, like, they couldn't decide between the titles "If You Were Young," and "Rage," so they used the almighty power of the colon. This is officially my new favorite movie. It's all about how Japan used to put kids from the country in these piss-poor training schools, then shipped them off to the city so they could get jobs and help Japan grow exponentially. Anyways, all these country kids grow up with little to no experience other than as laborers, so they're all making terrible wages and the like. Five of these kids are sick of it though, and they decide that to make a life for themselves, they're going to all save up and buy a dump truck, hoping one day to own a legion of trucks and their own business. I never really saw a future in the dump truck industry, but hey, whatever works. Anyways, now it's a year or two in the future, and two of the kids have managed to buy the truck, despite have the other three either die, go to jail or get some bitch pregnant. So their truck, Independence No. 1 is finally on the road, and they're making the big money. But your past has a way of returning for you, be it your dead friend's sister trying to lay you, your jailed friend's sister trying to lay you, or that fucking bastard and his kids hitting you up for money. The best part of this movie, is all the running sequences. Apparently, in Tokyo, people just run through the streets constantly either with glee, though sometimes with rage. And I don't mean "Yay I'm Happy!" I mean "WHOOPIE FREAKING DOO I HAVE A TRUCK; JESUS; I CAN'T STOP RUNNIN'!" Me and Ivars both pictured a Tokyo with people just running through the streets screaming "Yatta!" and laughed. Japanese people are also apparently crazy all the time, as people often run around the beaches, cover themselves in sand and yell "ARGH I'M A SAND MONSTER!" I wish I was making that up. Seriously though, one of the best movies ever. Lastly was "Rebels
of the Neon God." If you like movies with no plot and mute
main characters then this is for you. Maybe I just didn't get it,
but 2 hours of apartment floors submerged in water, cavorting through
Japanese arcades, and random experiences in Love Hotels just doesn't
seem to add up. It was good though. I mean, if anything it's a good
lesson on what might of happened in Japan in the 90s. I guess that
kids dropped out of tutoring schools so they could buy air pistols
and stalk this one guy who broke the rear view mirror on their dad's
taxi. Oh, and people also played a lot of Street Fighter 2. Apparently
the main character was the reincarnation of some god. Yeah, it doesn't
make sense to me either. Oh, and the first scene is some kid jerking
off. Way to steal a page out of End of Evangelion guys. Oh well,
maybe I'm not big enough a film geek to understand. |
