February 4th - It's Crew Against Crew

You know, when I first caught wind of the movie "You Got Served," I didn't know what to think. I mean, I guess my first reaction was "What the fuck?" Every time I think America can't get any dumber I get proved wrong. But, it wasn't enough for this movie to torture me by simply existing. It had to go to number 1 in the fucking country.

Dear America. I hate you.

I mean, I just don't get it. Now I have this dull ache in my heart which will likely not go away until I find who is responsible for this piece of youth culture garbage and murder them in cold blood. I was in English when this kid Connor had probably the best breakdown of the movie I've seen so far.

"Well, when I first saw the trailer and that one guy says "It's crew against crew," I was like, "Oh cool, a gang movie." But then all of a sudden all these kids burst out with..." *Starts making wild hand motions in the air*

I'm all for movies where the overly stereotypical main character makes an extrodinary breakthrough and proves that if you put your mind to it you can do anything (e.g. "Rocky"). But if you're going to fight your way to the top of anything, can it be something other than break dancing? I mean, fighting your way to the top of Dairy Queen management or something like that would be more entertaining than this. The worst part is this whole movie is played out in some sort of racial conflict, whereas the black dancers who are drug dealers just trying to struggle and make a life for themselves have to reclaim the top of the dancing hill by taking down the spoiled bastard rich white kids who have stolen their culture for the last time. I have nothing against break dancing, hell; I love to watch Azn Mike perform some popping with a small side of locking. But when you take the dancing, try to turn it into some sort of race war, and then splice in as much broken English slang as possible... well, it just isn't fun anymore. I've heard it most often compared to "Bring it On," which is hardly fair because at least "Bring it On" realized it was supposed to be a comedy. "You Got Served" just seems to take itself too seriously. Then again, I'm basing all my arguments on what I've seen of the trailer, and this one fucking hilarious review, so you can take what I say with a grain of salt. All I know is that this movie brought in over 16 million dollars, which more than assures me we'll be seeing "You Got Served Again," very soon.

Oh, and B2K is in it. Which would probably explain both the movie's popularity and why I saw so many black girls walking out of the theatre crying the other day. For those of you not in the know, B2K is like a "hipper" urban version of N'Sync. They broke up recently, which makes me smile. Maybe someday all pop culture will end and I can die happy.

Frankly, I think the only people you got served were these four. Zing.

In other news-

• I got the "Jonny Wow," CD. It's decent. That one track with the harmonica; titled "MIA," is still my favorite, followed by "Plastic Palace," and "The Man with the Iron Hand." Yeah, it's good shit. If you've got $5 pick it up. Ezra has to pay off buying his fancy little .com domain name. YOU'RE JUST SO COOL AREN'T YOU EZRA?! Bastard...
• The QA people at Sony of America are fucking idiots. They have outright rejected Metal Slug 3, and things are looking grim for Samurai Shodown V. This is the same shit they did with the Megaman remakes and Goemon: Mystical Ninja. They couldn't tell the difference between a good game from a monkey labeled "More 3D bullshit." Surprisingly, both of the games are still being released for Xbox. I have a little more respect for Microsoft today.
• If you heard someone yell 'You suckaz got served!" in the school hallways the last two days, it was probably me. I enjoy making fun of the movie's slang almost as much as I do making fun of the movie itself. Today I put a chair in the middle of my English classroom, ran and jumped off it yelling "You got served!" and then proceeded to crash full force into 3 desks and knock them over. Macks couldn't stop laughing all day long.
• I guess Jonny Wow is also playing at the Flywheel at 7 PM on Friday. So if you like good music played in shitty broken-down buildings then show up. I'm sure there will be a lot of terrible angsty Easthampton bands to throw things at too, and you and all the other emo punk kids can talk about how dark and tortured you are inside.
• Janet Jackson's Nipple, Janet Jackson's Nipple, Janet Jackson's Nipple, Janet Jackson's Nipple.
• Who the fuck wears things on their nipples? How does it stay on? Does it hurt?