February 5th - Today is a great in the history of Latvia

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My entire school is freaking out ever since these randomly placed "Columbine-esque" messages keep popping up everywhere. Something like this happened about two weeks ago but they all our secretive school board said was that they caught the guy and we all though that was the last of it. Well now someone has gone and carved something along the lines of "I want to kill all you fuckers like in Columbine" in a bathroom stall. Keep in mind that I said carved. No, this wasn't some absent-minded fuck with a pencil, or perhaps even a pen cleverly disguised as a medical syringe or a dolphin. No, this was some crazy bastard with a switchblade. 99% of me thinks it's just some guy who wanted to scare some people. If so, good job, because half the school is probably staying home tomorrow. But there's always this 1% of me that thinks "Ok, today we're not going to shove Jimmy Two-Step into a locker... just in case." That Jimmy Two-Step is a dangerous kid.

But seriously, I know this is going to turn into a witch hunt to single out nerds, freaks and the like. Mr. Minks already told us he would be watching all of us for any suspicious behavior (I think I'm going to lay off the McDonald's massacre stories for a while). And the teachers are all monitoring who goes to the bathroom so they can figure out who would have the opportunity to write the threats... or have the opportunity to... you know... pee. I hate how it's only the loner kids they have to check on. Like, they're already unpopular; do we really need to accuse them of plotting murder? That's messed up. But if you're set on checking out some geeks and their behavioral patterns, check the anime club first. I stopped by the club room after school just to see what they were up to. A room full of maladjusted teenage kids laughing their asses off at some batshit crazy anime called "Galaxy Angel," is a sight to behold. I almost miss them... those fanboys in the mist... But then again, I've already figured out every anime is the same. Some random guy, who would normally be a complete loner, ends up living with a whole mess of beautiful females and then wackiness ensues, usually involving one or more of the many body parts of the various aforementioned females. Then you just take that formula and add some stupid twist on it, like, all the girls are from outer space ("Tenchi Muyo"). Or the guy also transforms into a girl at all the wrong times ("Ranma 1/2"). Or better yet, every time the main characters attempt to have sex the girl turns into a cat ("Fruits Basket"). "Japan, making bestiality fun again." I really need a picture of me like, hugging Domo-Kun or something like that, with the caption "I Love Japan!" That way I can just put that image in like, every entry. Josh, get on that.

Also I guess the Grammy's are coming up. I don't really like to watch these events, because all they do is make me angry (I know Avril Lavigne will win every category she is nominated for, and it tears me up inside). But, I never realized how many categories there are! I mean, I guess they don't televise all the unpopular categories, or else just show them for like a second and then cut to an interview with Justin Timberlake about how big his ding-dong is. Frankly though, out of all the categories, the only one that matters this year is Best Polka Album. So many Polka hits have struck this year, that it seems impossible to pick just one.

And The Nominees Are...

"Versalicious!" by Eddie Blazonczyk's Versatones.
"Polkas in Black and White" by Jerry Darlak and the Touch.
"LynnMarie and the Boxhounds" by LynnMarie.
"Just for You" by Walter Ostanek and Bob Kravos.
"Strike Up the Band" by Dennis Polisky and the Maestro's Men
and...
"Let's Polka 'Round" by Jimmy Sturr.

And yes, today is a great in the history of Latvia. Amen.