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January 22nd - 6 Letter
Word for "Fuckhole"
Some crazy girls at our school have decided to perform "The
Vagina Monologues," which is like, a 2-hour play about "such
topics as homosexuality, rape and various parts of the female anatomy."
By the way, that's a quote from fucking Time.
When Time Magazine, and fucking Fox's
own Bill o'Reilly get involved, you know something big is going
down. Why so many people care about this stupid town I'll never
know. Anyways, keep in mind this is the same school that decided
against doing "West Side Story," because it was racist
towards Hispanics. Let me get this straight, a play where fictional
gangs fight with dance is more offensive than a bunch
of teenage girls talking about their cunts? You know what, fuck
it, now I'm excited about the play. If a bunch of teenage girls
want to get on stage and talk dirty about sex and vaginas and whatnot
then I say more power to em'. I think if I manage to sport a boner
during the show I'll consider it a personal victory. I say we all
bring in signs saying "I came to jerk off." Supposedly
the play is a lot of anti-male propaganda, so I look forward to
smacking some uppity bitches around who get in my face about being
a chauvinistic pig. I mean, like I don't know that already? God,
I'm more offensive than Max
Karson, in fact, I think that should be my byline.
For those of you not in the know, Max
Karson was this hack writer who distributed his terrible newsletter
"The Krux" in the school every month and got suspended
like four times because the teachers in this school are asshats
who don't understand what "free speech" entails. So, even
though nothing he wrote was terribly funny, watching our school
organize support groups and parent meetings about what to do about
this (actual quote) "threat to our school's system of community"
was. I remember him getting in trouble for "obscenity"
with this
entry. I'll let you examine current events and try to figure
out the hypocrisy. It's like one of those "What's wrong with
this picture?" things from Highlights for Children, except
all the answers are "Amherst is insane."
And sadly, Goatse seems gone
forever. It's always sad when an internet phenomenon dies, but I
think this one hit us the hardest. Godbless you Goatse, your gaping
asshole will always live on in our hearts.
And now, the daily blurbs.
- Me and John Carey are having a gang war but I'll save that story
for later. East Street Riders Holla!
- My Scanner and Digital Camera are broken which explains the
lack of funny pictures lately. Damn computers.
- I'm resizing the site so that it fits onto a normal computer
screen, and I figured out how to get the sidebar to work so get
excited.
- A Boy Named Pip
(best local band ever) linked to my site so that feels good. Ezra
still owes me a CD.
- I doubt any of you know him but Ryan
broke his face. Part of me feels sympathy while the other
part laughs until it hurts. "My dad doesn't hit me, I just
fell down the stairs... into his fist...many, many times..."
- At least something good came out of my message board scandal.
This picture. Defender gets
10,000 points and a link
to his site.
By the way, can someone google bomb this site? I'm
like the 65th entry for "Gesualdi"
and only the 4th for "Chris
Gesualdi." I mean, I can understand not being the most
popular Gesualdi, but to not be the most popular Chris Gesualdi
feels like a shot in the mouth. And speaking of shots in the mouth...
no, no that's just too easy.
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