There have been many great tests of strength in our world. From the Colluseums of Ancient Rome, to the Olympic Games in Athens, to the Ultimate Fighting Championship on Pay Per View. However, none of these competitions have been commonly available to the everyday jackass. However, that ends now.

The Coat Hanger Trials are a test of pure willpower and strength. They were devised by me and John Carey and we are now sharing our gift with the world. Here is how they work.

First, you must find a plastic coathanger with a bump protruding where the hook meets the body. This is a rough drawing of the instrument of pain. Notice how the protruding bump is ready to force itself into the forehead.

Next, the combatants must force the coat hanger over their heads. This is not an easy task and many lose their cool before even getting started. Here, Reid Noble screams like a little girl as John tells him to shut the fuck up and take it like a man.

Once the hanger is secured on the forehead, the count begins. The one who holds it the longest gains the glory of being the moron with a coat hanger on his head.

As you can see, this competition is not without it's repercussions. However, John comes away with the glory and only a minor scar to his forehead. Good work John, you will go down in the anals of history. I mean annals.