(This was an assignment where we were supposed to write a story about our partner based on what they told us about themselves. Unfortunately, my asshat partner Max wouldn't tell me anything about himself, other than shit he made about about his make believe father Carlos. After days of trying to get some information out of him I finally broke down and wrote this. My class loved it, my teacher hated it. We spent the rest of the class arguing with the teacher over whether it was a good story or not. Anyway, here it is)

One day Max was cruising the streets with his partner Carlos Piquente looking for trouble. Max was a tough cop who didn't take no smack, while Carlos was smooth and talked a lot of Jive. Just then the police radio went off.

"Attention all units, we have reports of a possible terrorist situation at McDonalds on 5th and Elm, all units report."
"Oh man that sounds like one craaaaazy ride!" Carlos exclaimed.

"Let's do this," said Max in response.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Yelled Carlos.

And Bickity-Bam they took off, as Max floored the cruiser. He knew it was against regulation but Max didn't play by the rules. He used to play by the rules but that had got him nowhere. Plus when you don't play by the rules you get to do cool stuff like headbutt a suspect in the stomach until he throws up, or knock someone's teeth out. Max was good at what he did, but with his partner Carlos he was unstoppable. They quickly arrived at the scene of the crime.

"Looks like we're the first ones here," said Max as they grabbed the non-standard issue AK 47s from the trunk.

"OH MAN LET'S KICK SOME ASS!" Yelled Carlos.

"Alright!" Max shouted in agreement. Carlos shot out the plate glass window and jumped through, while Max opted to take the door.

"HOLY! I SEE HIM DUDE!" Carlos yelled as he opened fire on a yellow clad man. He yelled a war cry as he emptied the clip.

"Yeah, you shot that Ronald McDonald statue up real good," said Max. Just then, they heard a noise.

"He's in the back!" Max yelled. Carlos screamed and jumped headfirst over the counter. Max walked around. They snuck back into the kitchen And there they found him, hunched over a body.

"FREEZE YOU CRIMINAL PERSON!" Max yelled placing the gun to the back of the suspect's neck. But then the criminal spun around. Blood dripping from his mouth.

"IT'S THE GRIMACE!" Went Max.

"AND HE KILLED RONALD!" Screamed Carlos diving around a corner.

"The grimace loves to eat!" The Grimace yelled glaring at Max. Max ran screaming until the walk-in cooler.

"Oh god, oh god…." Max said under his breath as he feared for his life in the damp and freezing cooler. He hid watching through the small window in the door, when suddenly he spun around and found himself face to face with a man frozen white, his striped clothing stained with fresh blood.

The Hamburglar. Dead.

Carlos could hear Max's screams from under the table which he was hiding.

"Max is in trouble! Oh snap!" Carlos yelled. He jumped up out of his hiding space and ran towards the screams, when he tripped over something near the drink dispenser.

"Ow!" Carlos said as he slowly got up, he turned and looked at what had made him fall. There Mayor McCheese lay in a pool of his own blood. A huge hunk had been ripped from his hamburger face, which lay open like bleeding wound. For the fourth time in this story, Carlos screamed like a little girl.

Meanwhile, the Grimace was enjoying his snack. He was hunched over Ronald, devouring him limb from limb. But then, he heard the sirens of the approaching cruisers. He grew mad that they would dare try to stop him, and ran outside.

"There he is! Open fire!" A cop shouted, and they began pelting him with round after round. But nothing could penetrate the Grimace's tough skin, and he shook off the bullets as if they were chicken mcnuggets. Then, he took a run at a cruiser and body slammed it, sending it hurtling into the sky along with two officers. Max and Carlos watched as the Grimace fought from inside.
"Wow, this is some messed up shizat," said Max.

"Yeah…" Said Carlos, "Want some fries?" He asked, handing Max the container.

"The thing I don't get is…" Max said between bites, "Why did he go crazy after all these years?"

"Hmm… maybe it's because they discontinued the Saint Patrick's Day Shamrock Shake…" Carlos pondered.

"Oh dude, I hated those things," said Max.
"Heh, yeah, they were terrible," Carlos said. He and Max laughed. In the backround, the Grimace was firing lazers from its eyes and pretty much tearing up what was left of the force.

"So… should we like, help them?" Max said.

"Dude, nothing can kill the Grimace," said Carlos.

"Yeah… oh well, wanna go to the mall," asked Max?

"Let's go!" Yelled Carlos.